When he returned home, he told me about his night out with no other women or wives to keep them in check. He had a great night except for an incident with a strange guy. This man approached my husband and his friends and told them that they needed a Life Coach, that they needed fixing.
“Did you tell him you are married to one?” I asked.
“I did, and the man replied, ‘No. You need a man like myself because I can fix you.’ I asked him why I needed fixing. He replied, “Because all you corporate guys need fixing or why else would you guys hang out in a cigar bar.’”
The man even bragged about how his last client paid him ten thousand dollars to fix him and that he did it in three months.
Listening to my husband’s story, I was disturbed. Granted, my husband is not perfect. But how can someone who doesn’t even know him tell him that he needs fixing? Life Coaches are not ‘fixers.’ We are guides to help people understand more about what or who they are so that they can solve their own problems.
I looked at my husband with a shake of my head, “How could a Life Coach brag about how much he made, and solicit business at a bar?”
My poor husband shrugged. “Well, I don’t know how Life Coaches are supposed to be.”
And, my husband was right. People do not know what makes a good Life Coach or how to find one who fits their needs. There is no manual and no guidelines. It seems every Joe and Jane are calling themselves Life Coaches these days. This got me thinking about the misconceptions people have about who Life Coach is. So, I put together a simple list for people who are looking for a good Life Coach.
1.
A good Life Coaches (LC) will never tell you that you are broken.
None of us are perfect. There are
only those who manage their life well and those who do not. A good LC is
empathetic to you and your situation and is not judgmental.
2.
LC does not fix. They teach you life skills to help you grow and
build a better life.
If you are looking for someone to
fix your problems, you need an appropriate professional, be it a psychologist,
doctor or lawyer. Unlike other professionals, LC works with you to help you discover
who you are, why you do what you do so that you can use that information to
change your way of life so you can be the person you wanted to be. A good LC should
get to know you and in turn, help you know yourself. A good LC should also give
you action plans that you can feel comfortable putting into immediate use.
Professionally, a good LC should know how much a client can handle and adjust
each action plan to her client’s needs.
3.
A good LC is a Collaborator.
A good LC encourages you to grow,
not stunt your growth by making you feel bad about yourself or your problems.
We all have problems. No one is perfect. A good LC grows with her client as the
learning comes not only for the client but also for the LC.
4.
A good LC can tell you the hard truth but only when you are ready.
It is not easy to hear criticism. It
is not easy for anyone. But there is a good time and a bad time to tell someone
that the things you have been doing all your life are not working. A good LC
will take her time to learn about you, guide you, and knows that some clients
require small steps and a lot of time. A good LC will know when her clients need
to hear the hard truths.
5.
All sessions should be confidential and make you comfortable.
You are sharing something very
private, and a good LC should respect that.
6.
A good LC understands you are a unique individual and she should be
open to seeing your problems through your eyes.
Each client has different beliefs,
values, and perspectives. A good LC understands that and would not try to
change the core of what makes you who you are. A good LC helps you realize what
your values and beliefs are that resides within the core of who you are, not
change them.
7.
A good LC would check their ego at the door. It is about you, not about
us.
A good LC will not try to boss you
around. Life coaching is a collaborative effort between the client and your LC.
A good LC is a guide to help you show you the path to your intended destination
in your journey through life. It is a collaborative effort where both the LC
and the client must be willing to commit to bringing about positive changes.
8.
The first consultation should be free.
A good LC does not charge for the
initial consultation. This is because a good LC does not take just about any
and all clients who walk through his/her door. For life coaching to work, the
client and the LC must be a good fit. You must be willing to open and talk
about your dreams and goals. It is hard to do that with someone you don’t feel
you can trust and connect. Without first meeting each other face to face, you
cannot know if that LC is right for you or for that LC to know that you are the
right fit for her.This last part is a very important part of my practice as a Life Coach. The first consultation is very important as it is when I meet my client for the first time. As a professional, I can feel if we are a good fit or not. I never take clients who I don’t feel a connection, especially when I feel the client is not ready and willing to open himself/herself to change. It is not good for me and not good for them.
Also, before seeking LC, you must be willing to change some of the things you are used to doing. If you are not, then it is a waste of time for both of us. One cannot hope to change without first having the desire and willingness to change. And you must be willing to work. A job of LC is not to solve things for you, but to break down large goals into small tangible ones to guide you so that you can realize and reach your dreams. Accomplishing these small goals will lead to small successes and they in turn will help you to feel good about yourself and make you realize your own abilities. Knowing your power, the abilities you have that you didn’t even know you had, those are the first step to achieving that bigger, more difficult to achieve goals you strive for. And I am here to help you to find what you are capable of because we all have what it takes to make our dreams a reality.
Written by Young. Young is a life coach and stationery designer. You can get more information on Instagram at young.lifecoach or she can be reached at yc@creativeluv.com
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